Non Monogamy In Committed Relationships- Be Open To it?

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Non Monogamy In Committed Relationships- Be Open To it?

Postby Vinnie_Big_Dog » Sun Apr 16, 2017 3:36 pm

Having grown weary of the plethora of Trump, bathroom bills   and immigration related threads,  I thought that I would try something entirely new. The topic is consensual non monogamy. My wife and I were, for many years "into it" Now, for various reasons we are "retired" from the lifestyle, but open to possibilities if the right opportunity presented itself. In recent years it has not. It did work for us, for the most part, and notwithstanding a few "rocky episodes" we mostly have fond memories of our exploits.  Sometimes we just look at each other and laugh  about "the shit we did "

 Anyway, I'm interested in seeing what kind of interest and reaction I get to this topic. Please read the whole  article and comment thoughtfully and honestly. Feel free to share your experiences, if any, with any form of non monogamy while in a committed relationship.

Rethinking monogamy today - CNN.com

Selected excerpts

CNN)Could opening your relationship to others benefit you and your partner?
For many couples, monogamy -- staying sexually exclusive with one partner -- is expected and assumed. It's even included in many marriage vows. But as some people are increasingly realizing, monogamy isn't for everyone.


As a couples sex therapist, I've found that some may feel committed to each other yet still feel they have fundamental differences in sexual interests or desires. In the past, many of these couples might have chosen to break up, cheat or just "settle."

But these days, some are finding they want to challenge their notions about sexual exclusivity.
non-monogamy right for you?



So how do you know whether trying consensual non-monogamy -- which includes polyamory, the ability to have sexual and emotional relationships with others -- is worth exploring? First, it helps to understand how you and your partner define sexual openness, as well as sexual exclusivity.
"There are as many different types of non-monogamous relationships as there are people in them," Vrangalova said.

For some couples, non-exclusivity might take the form of attending "play parties" together and swapping partners, watching other couples have sex, dating other people or even entering into polyamorous relationships with multiple partners.



Consensual non-monogamy can add spark and fulfillment to a healthy relationship. "It can actually remove the fear inherent in some monogamous relationships related to the potential for abandonment -- for example, if their partner were to meet someone else," explained Pitagora.

"For other people, there can be a deep sense of relief in not having to be the sole source of sexual satisfaction, and this can lead to greater opportunities for intimacy and bonding," she said.
You'll want to consider issues such as jealousy, honesty and safe sex practices, just to name a few. It's also worth remembering that non-monogamy still carries a stigma in many circles, so think about how you and your partner will address that concern.
The modern conservative is engaged in one of man’s oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness.”
~John Kenneth Galbraith
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Re: Non Monogamy In Committed Relationships- Be Open To it?

Postby exploited » Sun Apr 16, 2017 3:46 pm

Non-monogamy makes sense for many people, IMO. Something like 30-60% of married people commit infidelities, and something like 50% of marriages fail. They and their relationship would be better served by opening things up and talking honestly about their desires, sexual and emotional.

That said, monogamy is also a valuable experience, one that, in the right context and between the right people, enables an intense emotional and sexual bond.

At the end of the day, there is no right answer. People need to work on building open communication and better relationships first and foremost. Without a solid base, non-monogamy can easily result in disaster, just as much as monogamy.
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Re: Non Monogamy In Committed Relationships- Be Open To it?

Postby Vinnie_Big_Dog » Sun Apr 16, 2017 6:37 pm

exploited wrote:Non-monogamy makes sense for many people, IMO. Something like 30-60% of married people commit infidelities, and something like 50% of marriages fail. They and their relationship would be better served by opening things up and talking honestly about their desires, sexual and emotional.

That said, monogamy is also a valuable experience, one that, in the right context and between the right people, enables an intense emotional and sexual bond.

At the end of the day, there is no right answer. People need to work on building open communication and better relationships first and foremost. Without a solid base, non-monogamy can easily result in disaster, just as much as monogamy.

Thank you for that balanced and rational response. That is exactly what I was looking for.
The modern conservative is engaged in one of man’s oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness.”
~John Kenneth Galbraith
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